Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
