I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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