i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
