Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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