im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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