The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
