After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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