Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
