if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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