Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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