So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I want to have your abortion
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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