you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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