it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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