I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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