Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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