it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
