I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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