Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
the day after is always just damage control
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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