I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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