Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize