he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
