I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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