So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
