Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize