between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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