My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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