sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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