there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
