Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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