I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
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I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
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