The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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