We're facebook friends in real life
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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