Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
