so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
ok first of all what the fuck
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
