i used baking grease as lip gloss
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
