Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
