every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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