I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
