You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
