I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
