i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Small penises have feelings too.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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