Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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