You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
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