I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
