and you said cock pushups were impossible
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
