Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
