Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
