16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.