I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
