thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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