i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize