I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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