at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You took a bar mat shot.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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