dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
