I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
