And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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