Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
