im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
