i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
