She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
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It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
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SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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