Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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